Mother Daughter Moments

I love my seven-year-old daughter.  She's fun and smart and talented and a bit DRAMATIC.  So, when I got a call from her school a couple weeks ago, I was skeptical:

School Lady

Your daughter wants you to take her home.  She's sick.

Me

Does she actually seem sick?

School Lady

I'll let you talk to her.

Dani

Hi, Mommy.  I'm really sick. I need to go home.

Me

Are you sure?

Dani

Yes, I'm so sick.

Me

Where does it hurt?

Dani

Well, I have a headache.

Me

You have a headache? (She has a lot of headaches.)  Did something else happen at school that you're upset about?

Dani

No. I just don't feel good.  Also, my throat hurts.

Me

Uh-huh.  Well, I'm not really sure.  I--

Interrupting School Lady

Maam?

Me 

I'll come in, but I can't right now.  I have to drop my other daughter off for kindergarten in half an hour and I'll check on her then. 

I dropped Evie off and grudgingly lugged Dax and Mase inside.  Dani was lying in the nurses room, sound asleep.  I felt her head and neck.  She was burning up!  Oh no.  I am the worst mom!

It turns out my daughter had the stomach flu.  Thankfully, it only lasted a little over a day.  As a reward for my initial lack of empathy, Dani gave me a gift.  I came down with the same headache/stomach flu a few days later and even had a relapse just last week.  Lesson learned!

As a bonus, I thought I'd share an additional mother/daughter moment from this past Saturday.

Dani

Mom!  You look pregnant. 

Me 

I'm not.

Dani

But you look pregnant.

Me

Dani, you really shouldn't say that to people.  It's not nice.

Dani

I would never say that to people.  Just to you.

(Awww.  I'm special.)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Cutting back on my ice cream consumption.

The Morning Routine

I think it's important to record family history.  I feel like my kids are changing so fast. I don't want to forget these times.  So, here's a little of our family's history from this past week.

September 7, 2011   

The Morning Routine   
(a condensed version)

 Starring: Husband (age 38), Me (age 35), 
Dani (age 7), Evie (age 5), Mase (age 3), and Dax (age 1)

We don't use alarms at our house.  My husband wakes up like clockwork. On this particular day (and many others) I have some additional wake-up help.

My husband usually takes off early, but today he lets me doze a few extra minutes!  He helpfully takes Evie, Mase, and Dax out of our room and feeds them breakfast.

Then I hear the dreaded words:

"I'm leaving now, which means you should probably get up and come out here. Really."

I linger out.  That's when I notice Dani, still sound asleep!

 "Out of bed sleepy head." No movement.

"You need to wake up now or you won't have time for breakfast." 

Dani gets up.  I pour her a huge bowl of cereal and convince Mase to give me a good morning hug. Everyone runs to give Dad a hug goodbye!  I then drag my crying toddler away from the garage door as he attempts to leave with my husband. 

Evie is lying on the couch in her swimsuit; her latest pj trend.  "I don't feel good. I'm so sick," says Evie.  (Feigned sickness is a common ailment for her lately.)

"All right monkey.  Lay on the couch.  I'm sure you'll be fine in time for [afternoon] kindergarten."

"I'm still hungry!" Dani chimes.

"You don't have time to eat another bowl of cereal.  Get ready.  If you have time, you can have more. "

I go to change Dax's diaper as he mightily attempts to flip and flop away.  When I return, I see Dani is still in her pajamas with her second bowl of cereal!  I confiscate the cereal and firmly tell her to get dressed. She is unmoving, except to take another bite of cereal!  I then physically remove the cereal.

"Get dressed," I growl in a low grover-like voice. (Lately I've been attempting to replace my snapping with a much sweeter, but meanish growl;  although, it doesn't seem to be as effective.)  Dani leisurely saunters into the living room where I've placed her clothes.  

I glance over.  Dani has turned on a cartoon and is just sitting there!  "You have school in ten minutes.  Get dressed--NOW."   I'm back to snapping.  She casually starts getting dressed.  No rush.

I then attempt to put in Barry, Dani's contact.  She wears one contact--(long story involving a lazy eye and many pairs of broken glasses).  She squawks, "You poked me!"

"Open your eye." After several attempts, Barry is in!

I glance into the kitchen.  Dax is crouching on the table, eating Dani's cereal with his hands.  I remove cereal-covered toddler and wash him off.

"Go brush your teeth and your hair, quickly." I say to Dani, "We're going to be late."

She slowly slides her feet to the bathroom and comes out only seconds later.  Her hair in not brushed and the water hasn't even been turned on!

"Dani," I growl.

I then race to the bathroom and start brushing her hair.

Meanwhile, Dax joins us in the bathroom and starts dropping random items into the toilet--a long cherished practice.

"Everyone in the car!"  Dani heads to the garage.  I spot Mase.  He's running around half-naked.

"Where's your underwear Buddy?"
"I no find underwear."

 I snatch up some underwear and throw it his direction.  Mase puts it on backwards.  He's still pantless, but I tell him to get in the car.   I load up Dax.

"Evie, get in the car."
"I'm too sick."
"Go."  She goes.

But Mase is now missing!  I know where to look.  He's hiding in my bathtub again, giggling.  "I twicked you."

He still won't get out!  I carry my not-so-light Mase and, as gently as possible, wrestle him into his car seat.

Dani even made it to school on time.

"Bye Mom.  Love you.  You're the greatest mom in the whole world!"

I'm grateful for my crazy mornings.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the School Year: Working towards some peaceful mornings too.

my spirited second grader

The Chaos and Confidence of Motherhood

Life is usually unexpected and chaotic at our house, but there are some things I can count on.

Presenting:

Ten Things I Know

• I know that there's a high probability my three-year-old, Mase, will have to go potty right as we're heading out the door.

• Meanwhile, my five-year-old, Evie, will never have to go potty until five minutes after we leave!

• If my kids are laughing and playing nicely, I know at least one child will be crying soon.

• When I'm all caught up on laundry, I know that if I don't fold the following load of laundry, I won't fold the next ten loads, and it will be piled up again.

• I know that if I have all my children ready for church an hour early, then one or more of them will get some sort of food or unknown substance on their outfit and will need to change.

• I'll then have to hunt for new clean clothes out of the piles of unfolded laundry.  Then we'll be late for church.

• I know that if I leave my purse anywhere Mase can see, then my driver's license will go missing.  So will my gum.

• The gum will later show up glued to the carpet.

• The driver's license will still be missing.

• And most importantly, I know I am so blessed to have my crazy family and wouldn't trade them even on my worst mom day...though I may stay here and ship them to Iowa to have a vacation with my parents.  Heads up Mom and Dad. :)

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Searching for my driver's license. 

What I Want My Kids to Know

A few years ago I watched a talk show that had a great impact on my life.  There was a mother and daughter on the show. The mom was extremely self-conscious about her appearance and her weight.

The mom constantly berated herself;  although, she was just the opposite with her daughter.  The woman would tell her daughter how beautiful she was.  The mom would go on and on about how she would love to have her daughter's figure.  She really heaped on the praise. 

The well-meaning Mom was then surprised that her daughter didn't believe a word of that praise.  Instead, she took on her mother's insecurities, even developing an eating disorder.

 I think about that show a lot.  I have plenty of insecurities.  I believe there are certain times to share some of those struggles with my kids.  Still, I want my children to know me as someone who focuses on my strengths, not my weaknesses.

I want my kids to know I am:

Completely addicted to ice cream.  Attempting to eat more fruit.

Craft impaired.  Able to make the cutest origami paper cranes.

Always fearful about shaking when I speak in public.  Still making myself speak in public and even enjoying it...occasionally

Intimidated by certain people. Loving the new friendships I'm making.

Often struggling to remember things.  Able to recite all 50 states in alphabetical order.

Thinking I look several years beyond my age. Looking ravishing with my new haircut.

Frustrated by my cleaning inadequacies. Impressed that I can see glimpses of the laundry room floor.

Very guilty about not being the best Mom.  So sincerely grateful for my life as their mother.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of a Lifetime:  Remember to focus on my children's strengths, and my own.

I'd NEVER Do That as a Mom!

My wise self in 2004

I remember visiting some friends when I was pregnant with my first child.  The mom had a young daughter.  The little girl was climbing all over her mom while the mom was trying to talk to my husband and me.

Finally, the mom grabbed the daughter's arm, gave her a gentle push away, and said in an exasperated tone, "Get off!"

I didn't say anything, but I could not believe my ears!  How could she treat her precious child that way!  I would NEVER be that kind of mom.

Four kids later I say to my old self--HA!

So here are:
  Things I'd NEVER Do as a Mom

I would NEVER snap at my kids.  "Go to your room!  Pick up your shoes!  In the car, now!  Beeeee niiiiice!" Ya, I morph into that mom too often.  Not actually yelling, just snappy. 

I would NEVER let my kids eat junk food.  For my daughter's first birthday I called everywhere (with no success) to find a healthier birthday cake.   My second daughter's first clear word? "Candy!"

I would NEVER bribe my children.   This one didn't even occur to me.  I wouldn't need to bribe my kids.  They would be angels because I would be an exceptional mom.  I should have succeeded, but after a couple months of consistent crying from my newborn, I was burnt out.  Giving her a few extra milk feedings made her blissfully silent, at least while she was drinking.  And so the bribes began.  I thought her extra baby fat rolls were adorable. 

I would NEVER raise messy kids.  Cleanliness hasn't always been my strength, but I was planning to change my ways.  I was going to be a pristine example to my children.  They would, in turn, keep a perfectly clean room and even do chores without being asked.  Huh.

I would NEVER use the TV as a babysitter.  Yes, I think I've put on, and even watched, every kid's show known to man.

I would NEVER ever have to break up fights with my kids.  Please.  They wouldn't have them.  Or if they did, I would quickly intervene and educate them on how to get along. Sure, I fought with my brothers all the time growing up, but I would just explain to my children how to be nice and they would obey.  Surprisingly, they are not so fond of listening to my lengthy monologues on kindness...unless I bribe them.

I would NEVER take my child-filled life for granted.  I was 28 when I had my first child.  I was mature.  I had waited a long time to find the right guy and have a little one.  I love my kids and I endeavor to be a better mom every day.  But!  Occasionally I still lose sight of my sweet motherly attitude.  Please refer to my paragraph on snapping.

So, in closing, whoops.


Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal:  I will attempt to reserve my motherly judgements.

Top Ten Smells of Motherhood

Since having children, my house is filled with smells.  Wonderful smells like cinnamon rolls and strawberry shortcake dolls.  Then, there are the not so good smells!   I do what I can to keep it tolerable, but the odds are stacked against me.  So, here are...

The Top Ten Smells of Motherhood 
(for me)

#10 Our toilets! My toilets tend to overflow often, so I teach my children NOT to flush.  We're getting new toilets soon, hopefully. 

#9 No, I haven't showered yet today! 

#8 There was that banana peel one of my kids left in the baby's room.  This would also explain my last fruit fly invasion.  Luckily, the fruit flies were odorless.

#7 As if the banana peel wasn't enough, we discovered a hidden bag of rotten potatoes.  They were overpowering and very elusive!  I bought the potatoes, but I suspect one of my kids knocked them into the corner of the pantry.  I will never misplace potatoes again! 

#6 Laundry.  Piles and piles, and piles of it can add up!

#5 Gas, from the stove that is!  My gas burner was fiddled with and turned on by an unknown culprit recently.  There was no flame so my kitchen just started filling up with gas. Yikes!  Are there locks for those?

#4 Dinner. I've been attempting to cook more since becoming a mom.  You would think this would be a positive.

#3 My baby (now one-year-old).  Still so sweet smelling, but his terrible reflux left him with a continually covered in sour milk. Gratefully, for him, this stage is mostly over. 

#2 Carsickness.  Much worse than sour milk.  My girls are notorious!  I made a huge slip-up on the way to my daughter's dance performance this spring.  I forget the spit-up bucket!   By the time we got there, Dani's white dance top had a lovely orange tint and and an extra lovely smell to go with it. 

And the #1 smell: My three-year-old son!  Mase has become the potty accident KING, but is a jester when is comes to telling me the location of his accident. 

I'm thankful for all of my smells or at least the kids that come with them, but visitors may want to KEEP AWAY until this last smell is over.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Week:  I plan to steam-vac my carpets.