Kicked to the Couch

My hungry baby

Yes it's true--I'm admitting it to the world--my husband and I sleep in separate beds--kind of.  He's actually on the couch.  I kicked him out when I was pregnant with my last little guy and so uncomfortable.  I just couldn't endure the heavy breathing and random snoring.  Then came my hungry baby who slept with me most of the time--it was just easier for him to stay put.

Now the baby is almost one, it's time for him to move back--wouldn't you say?   BUT, and this is a huge but--he doesn't want to!  Our couch slumps down in the middle (as all well-loved couches should)--he claims the slump is ideal for his bad back.  Now he can hardly bear to be in our bed for any time at all.  Hmmmm...

So we've been shopping for beds--or at least he has.  I don't want a new bed!  Our bed is nothing fancy, a used mattress we bought just before getting married, but it's got this pillow top that just melds with your body--very comfy.   So it pains me--sincerely pains me to even think about spending money on something that we already have. 

And the adjustable bed my husband wants is pricey--several thousand dollars for the cheap version!  We don't have this money to spend!  And if we did, I can think of about 1000 ways to spend it.  Did I mention we haven't taken a vacation in 3 years!  In my better half's defense he did find a used adjustable bed for for $250.   I said, "Why are they selling it for so cheap if it's such a great bed?  Make sure you ask how old it it?"   Imagine my relief when they said they had only had it for a mere--21 years!!!

 But I miss my husband, heavy breathing, snoring, and all.

Grumpy Wife Goal of the Day: Put significant other first.

I will assist my husband in the search for an affordable adjustable bed. 

Three Simple Joys of My Life

#1 Does anyone else know what I'm talking about?  I'm sitting in my living room right now--my six year old daughter is fixing my hair.  OK, she is not the most gentle and my hair looks like a bird's nest when she is done, but I love it!  I love anyone above two fixing my hair for that matter.  I wonder if all of those celebrities get tired of someone fixing their hair EVERYDAY!  I can only dream of how marvelous that would be.  For now, I will just enjoy the time with my six year old.

#2 This one might seem a little weird, but I am absolutely fascinated to watch people wrap presents. I could watch for hours--really.  Let me first say,  I don't like to wrap presents myself, and when I do, it is usually a rushed and sloppy job.   So, let me clarify, I don't like to watch people wrap presents like I wrap presents, I like watching those really meticulous people who fold every crease just perfect and use just the right amount of tape.  Amazing!  Is that learned or does it come naturally?  Oh, the mysteries!


#3 Now here's something any mom could appreciate.  I love early morning alone time in my bedroom.  I can't say this happens regularly, but I have a really wonderful husband that made this magic time happen just this morning.  He watches all the kids (who wake up at the crack of dawn!)  and I lay in my bed, sometimes sleeping, or meditating or praying, just having some minutes of complete peace, comfort, and contemplation.  Ahhhh...

Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Take a few minutes for meditation.

As for me: Reward my husband with a shoulder massage.

Kitchen Obsessions

You may think I'm a little crazy, as I have no readers for my blog and I am talking to...well...no one!  But I'll just pretend that thousands of you are listening and go from there:)

So lately I have been really obsessed with some new kitchen gadgets and appliances--why did  I go so long without these!?!  There was the lack of extra spending cash for starters, but (by request) Santa was good to me this year and now I want to tell you all about it.

First, waffles--they have been misery to make, always sticking to the iron.  I received this lovely waffle maker when I got married--so thoughtful--but the iron is junk!    The waffles take about 10 minutes to cook, 15 minutes to get crispy  AND only two at a time!--sufficient for a newly married couple, I suppose, but not up to par when feeding my ravenous children.


Enter the Chef's Choice m8i40 Waffle Pro Express Waffle Maker--hello!  This baby is fabulous--quick waffles, crispy,  delicious.  No sticking.  And-- it beeps when the waffles are cooked to your liking.  Then--the best part of all--the waffles are an adorable heart shape!

The only down side it that I have to make about 20 batches to feel my hungry family, but it is soooo easy I don't mind a bit.  Ahhhh, the joys of waffles.

Now onto Santa's most expensive investment.  I had been thinking about getting a pasta roller/cutter for a few years now.  I knew the kitchenaid pasta attachments would be fast, but I really was in love with the idea of having a hand crank pasta machine and envisioned beautiful future moments of my children happily helping me crank the pasta as we bonded together in the kitchen.

My husband's concern was--would I ever actually use a pasta maker?--dinner from a pasta box is a stretch right now, so--"making your own pasta?  Really?"  Still, with life's reality upon me I still plunged ahead with a full-court press for the kitchen-aid attachments.

Oh, what a relief,  I adore my new pasta attachments.  They are fast, easy, and fabulous.  I've made yummy spaghetti (spinach and regular), divine crab ravioli, homemade lasagna noodles(maybe a little too much effort), and ton of delicious egg noodles.   My only complete disaster was spaghetti carbonara with homemade noodles--don't try this!   I had to stir the eggs in so fast that all my spaghetti broke into pieces--I was so excited for this dish!--then... bleh.

Nonetheless, love, love, love these attachments!  And, for me, I am glad I didn't go with the hand crank--who has the time. 

I believe Santa got these through Amazon only because I buy EVERYTHING on amazon and recommended it to him-- I have heard of some fortunate few finding the kitchenaid attachments on sale, but I have never personally seen such a sale.  I have no idea where else you would find a better price on my heart waffle maker and I am much too lazy to google it.
Chef's Choice M840 WafflePro Express Waffle Maker, Traditional Five of Hearts
KitchenAid KPRA Pasta Roller Attachment for Stand Mixers

Gratitude Check

I'm thinking it may be time for me to do a gratitude check.  So here it is, the top three things I am grateful for today:


#1 FAMILY--doesn't that always have to be on the list--my life would be infinitely more peaceful without all the fighting, screaming, hitting, pinching, name-calling, but then it would be utterly incomplete without all of the giggles, games, silliness, cuddles, kisses and "love yous."  And hats off to all single mothers--I would NEVER want to do it alone.



  #2 HOME--more importantly this morning I'm grateful for our toasty warm home.  In our battle over the thermostat I think my husband has conceded, at least for now.   I've also been thinking a lot lately about those who came before us and those who struggle now just to keep their children warm and fed.  How grateful I am to be so blessed.

And last but not least, #3 SNACKS!-for me it's all about frozen yogurt, cereal (did I really have 2 bowls of Cookie Crisp after dinner last night!?!) I love red delicious apples with cheese, and chocolate, chocolate, chocolate!!!  It's amazing how a good snack can really get me through a rough day--it is much cheaper than therapy.

Grateful Mom Goal of the Day: Stick to healthier snacks, at least for the day.

As for me: Eat less Cookie Crisp

Aging Grumpily

Did you hear?  I'll be 35 in a couple weeks!

On to one of the the most disturbing thing of the week:  It was time to update my facebook profile picture, not that I'm an avid facebook user, I just hadn't changed the picture since I opened the account several years ago AND it was an old picture to begin with.

People used to say I looked really young for my age.  They were always shocked to hear I was older than the expected.  I didn't really think about that until this week, but no one has said that to me in a while--a long while.

I have always been nice looking, not beautiful, not homely, just nice, some days much nicer than others, even cute.  Back in my single days I asked one of my overly honest guy friends how he would rate my looks on a 1 to 10 scale.  "Oh, about a 7, but a really good 7."  Note to all future overly honest guy friends--all girls are 10s!
 But I digress.

So I quickly snapped about 5 or 6 pictures of myself on my digital camera, but wait.  Who was this woman in the picture?  Older, a couple more lines, definitely not photogenic and makeup--I need makeup!  I never used to wear the stuff, it really didn't make me look that much better.  Not so any more!  Luckily my mother sent me a bunch a new makeup for Christmas---hmmm---she knew!

So the next day I plastered on the makeup--I really do look better I thought as I looked into my bathroom mirror.

Now it was time to retake those facebook shots again.  "Click, click, click, click, click, click, click, click..."  I took a lot from different angles hoping to catch the perfect "natural" look.  But---really?  I really look like this.  I know the lighting in my bathroom isn't the best, but surely I should have noticed how old I look!  My nose is bigger--how did that transpire--I thought that only happened to men!  And my face looks, different, definitely longer, like a long puffy white oval. 

I blame my children--they have aged me beyond my near 35 years and there is no going back.  I told my husband, "you'll now just have to love me solely for my heart and overlook the exterior."  He laughed, but didn't contradict what I was telling him--uhg

So I am now trying to be less grumpy, at least to my family.   

As for the facebook profile picture, it's still the same outdated photo and that's the way I like it.

Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day: OWN what you have.

As for me: I will OWN my new, slightly more mature look.

A clean house--in my dreams!

My house is clean!  OK, not really, but from where I'm sitting it looks clean, at least the living room is picked up.  My 2 year old's speech therapist came this morning so I HAD to clean up.  And I cleaned up my kids room yesterday.  I know, I know they should be cleaning their own room by now, but it was so completely terrible something had to be done.

My 6, 5 and 2 year old all share a room.  We should  move the girls down stairs, but their room would be so far away from my room I would worry to much.  Anyhow, I think I can enforce room clean up much better now that is not covered with toys and clothes. 

And I'm tired, I'm tired of the mad rush to clean to house every time someone is coming over.  I'm really embarrassed when someone stops by unexpectedly and want to come into my messy house--can't they call first!  Currently we live by the 25/75/100 rule.  25% of the time the house is picked up and ready for visitors, 75% of the time it is not, and 100% of the time my house is in desperate need up cleaning in behind closed doors.

Now I would like to hire a nanny for a week so I can clean up the rest of my house (the clothes covered laundry room, the baby's room explosion, and the out of control storage room, our numerous miscellaneous clutter areas, etc.) and maybe I also need a maid to help me....in my dreams!  That's not quite in the budget right now.  Even sending the kids to grandma's for a couple hours would be helpful, but I am not so fortunate to any family nearby.  So, more often than not, I will continue to rely on my favorite babysitter--tv (sesame street, high-5, leapfrog).  I'm not proud.

How do women do it?  I've seen those women who have a clean house, appear to be great mothers, and have a fabulous dinner on the table every night.

My theory/excuse is that if I could just get caught up on cleaning and get completely organized then I could KEEP the house clean...wishful thinking perhaps.

Now I know I should clean more at night, after the kids go to bed...is that what those amazing women do?  I typically clean up the kitchen, but usually I am too burnt out on cleaning by then, otherwise known as laziness, I suppose.

I have always had a desire to be clean, one of those really clean people, but it may only be a dream...

Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day: Organize something, anything! 

As for me: Tackle the overstuffed miscellaneous kitchen drawer.

What have I become?!?

So I just lost my temper with my 6 year old--again.

I feel very defeated--does anyone else feel like they USED to be a good mom.

Things started out so promising--a great husband (my best friend), pregnant with our first child, so sick and scared, but excited for the possibilities.

When my now 6 year old was born I expected things to be magical, that we would instantly bond, and stare into each others eyes for hours...non-stop cuddles and smiles. But, I'm embarrassed to say, things just didn't go that way.

After birth L felt like a foreign object in my arms, a stranger. And she was not a happy baby--cried most of the time, and did not like to be cuddled-ever!

Still, I persisted my good mom ways-I never even looked at her without smiling!   (I did eventually "bond" with her and life did get easier after the 6 month mark.)

To jump ahead a little, 3 kids later, I have slowly progressed from a mom with the best intentions, to a mom who is grumpy and constantly getting after my kids, not to mention my poor husband!



 So, this morning was one of my worst moments--a battle while getting my first grader ready for school, she took off her shoes right before it was time to go!!! That's a little thing right--the shoes--I know it didn't deserve three exclamation points, but that's how I felt. It was the final straw to a stress full morning.

I use to always wonder how those yelling mothers you see on TV go that way--now I know!   For the record, I did not yell, but I used a stern, very loud, very mean sounding voice--I may as well have been yelling.

Did I mention my house is a mess? I think that really adds to the my stressful mood over all. I am not the person I want to be! I am so disappointed in myself! I'm guessing my husband is thinking, "what did I marry?" I need to get myself together.

Anyhow, I'm not all bad, I've been trying to be silly with my kids more often, read them more books--we even made pudding fingerpaints this week.  I just feel I'm seriously messing up in many areas and not being the person I want to be and know I can be.

Vowing to be better today--after breakfast, I need a cereal fix

 Grumpy Mom Goal of the Day: Stop reacting, and keep your cool.
As for me: I will practice patience with my 6 year old.