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You May NOT Want to be a Mormon

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Saturday, July 9, 2011

You May NOT Want to be a Mormon

You may or may not know I'm a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.  We're also known as Mormons or LDS.  I'm not so social these days, but I've had friends who are Catholic, Baptist, Born-Again, Muslim, Atheist, everything.  If someone asks me, I will always talk to them about something I feel so strongly about.  But, I love to hear about and respect what other people believe too.

Today I thought I'd switch things up a bit.  Let everyone know some interesting morsels about us Mormons.

I present:
Seven Reasons Why You May 
NOT 
Want to be a Mormon


We don't drink coffee, at all!  I've never had a sip, but some mornings I could use my coffee.   And, about half of us don't even drink caffeinated pop.  The other half of us are addicted to Dr. Pepper or Mountain Dew.


We love dessert!  I've heard that Utah has the highest per-capita jello consumption rate.  It's possible that your thighs would automatically become larger if you joined the Mormon church.


We all have jobs, church jobs, and we don't get paid!  Even the bishop is a volunteer. Usually my job switches every couple of years.  Currently, I am the Compassionate Service Leader.   Which means I help set up meals for people in our neighborhood who are sick or need a little help.   There have been times when I have not felt so compassionate.  One more thing to feel guilty about!


We're not so cool like Big Love or Sister Wives.  We haven't practiced polygamy since 1890!   I give a collective sigh of relief for that.  Though,  if I were to have a sister wife, I would make sure to find one who likes to clean.


Our really famous Mormons list is...interesting, but a little short.  Here are a few: Mitt Romney, Harry Reid, Stephanie Meyer, Gladys Knight, Jimmer Fredette, and my personal favorite, Ricky Schroeder.   Also, my daughter, Dani, would like to add that she's famous.  She was in the school talent show last week.


We have church for 3 hours on Sunday!


Families are sealed for eternity in the Mormon church.  Forever!  This is a wonderful thing, so long as you like your husband and kids.  If you feel you need a break at the end of this life, then the Mormon church may not be for you.

So, I know I'm not signing up any recruits today.   I saw a poll that said 25% of the population would never vote for a Mormon as President.  I'm not sure if the same goes for blog following, but if you'd now like to unfollow me, I will miss you.

Grumpy Grateful Mom Goal of the Day:  Cut back on the jello.

Labels: ,

46 Comments:

At July 9, 2011 at 8:31 AM , Blogger Karen Greenberg said...

Thank you for sharing this. It was fun to read. Several of my good friends are Mormons, and I have to say that I love how open the religion is to others. It makes it wonderful to learn about the religion without a fear of being judged or trying to be converted. Thanks for being another great role model for the religion you love. I am not a religious person, but the ideals of your faith make me interested in learning more rather than turning me away like some denominations do. Great post!

 
At July 9, 2011 at 8:51 AM , Blogger Sandy -- As Told By Mommy said...

Lol, entertaining...I guess I am not a true mormon cause I hate those weird jello desserts that seem to be popular amongst us haha...and I hate pop, it's nast ;-) Otherwise, sounds like us haha. I like to find other LDS members in the blogger community :-)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 8:53 AM , Blogger Leda said...

OH Grumpy! I love you to death...and NO, I don't want a break from reading you after this life. I'm sure you'll be as cute and funny in the next. So YOU would be on my I'M GLAD I'M A MORMON list. ;) And a loud AMEN to Karen's comment. You are a great role model. No, you aren't perfect, none of us are. But you tell it like it is and we LOVE YOU for it!

 
At July 9, 2011 at 9:34 AM , Blogger claudia b said...

We should start a series - although I think if I do a Why you may not want to be catholic i may be on the receiving end of a thunderbolt :D

 
At July 9, 2011 at 9:49 AM , Blogger Luisa Rodríguez said...

hey, loved your blog!
Though I'm Spanish and live in Madrid, I have a friend who is a mormon and he is cool, cool, cool!

What is the thing about coffee anyway?? :)

________________________________________
http://mustbeliberating.blogspot.com/

 
At July 9, 2011 at 10:36 AM , Blogger Kathy said...

Is the coffee thing true!!! That might be the only sticking point for me!! I'm not mormon but I would never stop following you, I love your blog too much!! I love to learn about other peoples faiths and traditions. I don't think a candidates religion would infulunce my vote if I liked what the candidate stood for and belived in thier political phliosphy. I definetly think Dani is famous as is her mom!! I love your sense of humor and your overall life philosphy. I could not get inot sister wives either, but I agree, I might learn to put up with it for a good cleaner and live in babysitter, but I'm shallow!! I would vote for you if you ever decide to run for office!!! Much love!!

 
At July 9, 2011 at 11:33 AM , Blogger GrumpyJaxMomOf3 said...

Well J it sounds like you should run for President. You have a ton of people that would vote for you!! You could win based on popularity like Schwarzenegger ;)

I love how you show our religion to others. Some times it is a struggle, but well worth it. It may be hard to show compassion at time, but let me tell you how nice it is to be on the receiving end, so I try extra hard on that one :)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 12:14 PM , Blogger Erin Tagle said...

Interesting!

I worked with 2 Mormon sisters in college. They didn't drink caffeine (I have NO idea how y'all do it!) and didn't celebrate birthdays. I always enjoy reading about other cultures and religions. It takes all of us to make the world go 'round. :)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 12:15 PM , Blogger Reccewife said...

You're hilarious.
I don't know how many times I've looks at hubby on the way out the door and said through gritted teeth/fake smile "I'm doing it bacuse I have the HEART for it OBVIOUSLY." and then went, bad attitude and all. Good to know the struggle transcends faith groups :)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 12:35 PM , Anonymous Cori Beach said...

Not sure why anyone would stop following you because of your personal beliefs..that seems so silly. While I am not mormon, I still have many friends that are all sorts of religions :)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 12:40 PM , Blogger The Zany Housewife said...

What a great post!

3 hours on Sunday! That in itself would require some coffee or at least some strong tea.

I would be a bad Mormon. I have boxes of unmade jello sitting in my pantry collecting dust.

You are awesome.

That is all. :)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 12:47 PM , Blogger Shelley said...

You would lose me on the caffeine thing :) I love that you threw yourself out there and just said love me or leave me!! Good for you and your convictions, I still will be haning on your every post (hehe). I, am a Born-again Christian and proud of it. Will you still follow me :)??

 
At July 9, 2011 at 2:58 PM , OpenID yummychunklet said...

I had a Mormon roommate in college, and I ended up being better friends with her than my original roommate! I remember that she would wake up at odd hours so that she and her boyfriend who was in Thailand on his mission could play email tag.

 
At July 9, 2011 at 4:35 PM , Blogger Erin said...

Seriously. Awesome. Post.

 
At July 9, 2011 at 4:38 PM , Blogger Mrs E said...

I'm sorry... All hopes have been lost with #1. The whole no coffee thing threw me for a loop. I need it. Sort of like, oxygen and sunshine.

Can we still be bloggy friends ;0)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 5:49 PM , Blogger Kezzy said...

it makes me giggle to read how some people are so appalled at the thought of giving up coffee and tea.

I converted to LDS a little over a year ago, and while some of the things we do still make me go "are you KIDDING me????", I love it!

now, off to grab a diet coke!

 
At July 9, 2011 at 6:49 PM , Blogger Danielle said...

LOL! Love this! (My sister wife would have to enjoy doing paperwork.)

This was a great idea! What an awesome way to bring up your religion rebel status! ;) Maybe I should do a Catholic version at some point. I could start with:

We don't use birth control. Only "natural family planning" is allowed. If you don't like children, you might not want to join the Catholic Church.

 
At July 9, 2011 at 7:17 PM , Anonymous Kris C said...

I love this - my husband would like me to point out that you forgot Steve Young on the list! Some of my greatest friends are LDS - they respect my religion and I respect theirs, the way it should be.

My sister wife would also have to like to clean (and cook too!)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 8:38 PM , Blogger DysFUNctional Mom said...

I don't even drink coffee, but I have to have my Diet Dr Pepper. HAVE TO!
I'm assuming you don't drink alcohol, otherwise I would recommend Jello shots... ;-)
I think a sister wife sounds kind of nice! She could take half of my load off of me!

 
At July 9, 2011 at 9:29 PM , Blogger Laura@livingabigstory said...

Green jello and carrots ... yum :(

 
At July 9, 2011 at 9:30 PM , Blogger Mom of 12 said...

Love your post! I must say that I actually read every comment and I'm so glad to see that you have such loyal followers. You are an amazing person...maybe we can be friends in real life.
Sandy

 
At July 9, 2011 at 9:58 PM , Blogger Kim @ Mamas Monologues said...

Definitely find a sister wife who likes to clean! Great idea ;)

 
At July 9, 2011 at 11:02 PM , Anonymous Daria said...

I have some really great friends that are LDS (which for some reason I always want to say as LSD...) but I digress. I do not want my children to be sealed to me for all eternity. Yes, I have influenced who they are, but seriously - shouldn't they have the ability to define themselves?

I love many things about the mormon church... I love the sense of community, I love the concept of visiting teachers, I love the opportunity to make bonds and to help others, I love the nonjudgemental inclusion of others. Personally i would LOVE a sister wife.. barring the whole sharing a husband thing. Someone to babysit, help with parenting dilemnas, give me a break from hubs and kids when I want one? Sounds like a godsend! :) The closest I've come is my husband's ex-wife.

This is rambling - I apologize. I guess my point is that I love many points about the LDS church and believe there are many good things to learn from it...

 
At July 9, 2011 at 11:30 PM , Blogger Vivian said...

Thank you! Thank you for laying it out there and making it easy (and funny) to explain when asked about my religion. Proud to be one and proud to know some amazing Mormons like you! :)

 
At July 10, 2011 at 2:17 AM , Blogger Jessica said...

I did not know that Harry Reid was Mormon. Learn something new everyday.

I only drink decaf coffee by choice. I always wonder how I make it through the day.

 
At July 10, 2011 at 4:37 AM , Blogger CRAP Mamma said...

I love this post!!! I love to hear about other religions and faiths but most people are too scared (or too serious) to give an honest perspective. I'm not sure how you cope without the coffee side of things. As for the sister wife thing, I'd never really thought about it but if you could pick and chose the 'wifely duties' I'd definately like one that cleans and irons lol!! Jacqui xx

 
At July 10, 2011 at 5:04 AM , Blogger Sandra's Fiberworks said...

Yeah, the coffee thing is a big one for me too -- drinking it as we speak/comment. I'm Episcopalian which is fine, as church is only an hour; that's long enough with two squirming boys. Not sure how you keep your sanity with that one...:))

 
At July 10, 2011 at 5:30 AM , Anonymous Kim of Mo'Betta said...

I guess I won't be converting anytime soon - I'm addicted to my morning coffee and I hate jello. lol

cool post, as I know very little about other religious practices. I'm Presbyterian..and we drink everything ;) (or maybe that's just the ones I know!)

 
At July 10, 2011 at 8:01 AM , Blogger Colleen said...

Very cute post! I moved to sandy in sept from wi, a Vern non Mormon area....and my first and very best friend here is lds, we have a super great relationship....and many of my other friends that followed, lots are also lds.... I am so thankful for such wonderful friends w similar values! Great post..... I still am following :)

 
At July 10, 2011 at 10:18 AM , Blogger Kimberly said...

hilarious post! I love learning about other ways of doing things and beliefs. So interesting! :)

 
At July 10, 2011 at 12:19 PM , Blogger Tammy said...

Ewww, I would not like the coffee rule. I am sorry :( I do enjoy Dr. Pepper. I always love reading your post! You and the Pioneer Woman are my 2 faves. Keep Blogging.

 
At July 10, 2011 at 1:09 PM , Blogger The Home C.E.O. said...

that's hilarious!!!!! i was a mormon once upon a time!! so funny. thanks for sharing the lighter side!

 
At July 10, 2011 at 2:29 PM , Blogger JDaniel4's Mom said...

We are Presbytarian and love jello too. JDaniel really loves it.

 
At July 10, 2011 at 5:06 PM , Blogger April said...

Very cute! What a light-hearted way to share about your beliefs. I had several LDS friends in highschool, they were all very nice!

 
At July 10, 2011 at 7:01 PM , Blogger Amber_D said...

You convinced me from the coffee point.
I'm curious, I've noticed a lot of women/mom bloggers are mormon. Any thoughts on why?

 
At July 10, 2011 at 8:53 PM , Blogger Caffeinated OC Mommy said...

WHAT?? No coffee??? lol Love your blog Darling GGM, I'm an equal opportunity reader... Cups Up! xoxo

 
At July 11, 2011 at 9:03 AM , Blogger Lexie Loo & Dylan Too said...

Thanks for sharing! I laughed about your sister wife comment...too funny!

 
At July 11, 2011 at 12:27 PM , Blogger m&msmommy said...

Thank you for sharing this! It's funny how many blogs I LOVE that just happen to be LDS. I guess I'm just "drawn" to you guys! ;) I had a skewed vision of Mormonsgrowing up (not sure where it came from, just socitey in general, maybe?) Until I met one of my VERY dear friends, and she was Mormon. Her family was amazing to me during a very difficult time in my life. I would go to church activities with them every Tuesday, and she still is, to this day, a very close friend.

I'm Baptist and whenever I say that people sometimes have an adverse reaction which I really don't get. I'm not sure why. I think Baptists are associated with snake charmers, or something along those lines ;) needless to say, that's not me. My church is very "normal". I'm just a girl who likes going to church, likes the church we found, and it just so happens that it's Baptist! :)

Thanks for sharing this! It's fun to learn more about other bloggers!

 
At July 11, 2011 at 8:20 PM , Blogger thingsthatkeepmesane.com said...

You are too funny. I have been fortunate in the past couple of years to have made multiple Mormon friends. I always joke that I am not someone that they should be friends with. Before my first dinner at the church in Lincoln, NE, I had to Google everything Mormon so I didn't offend anyone. It became a fun joke amoung us. When I moved to Iowa City, my first friend here was Mormon and also invited me to dinner. That time I knew what I was doing (I didn't have to change myself at all, it was OK to just be me). My friends call me the Mormon magnet. I love it, I've learned a lot, but you're right, I don't think I could be Mormon. I couldn't give up my coffee or wine and I'm not sure I enjoy being around my family THAT much:)

 
At July 11, 2011 at 9:37 PM , Blogger Lara said...

Great post! Had me in stitches...especially the last one. I'm always surprised at how so many of my friends don't think eternal families are such a good idea! Sad, but true.

 
At July 12, 2011 at 2:32 PM , Blogger Ashley Sisk said...

I'm not mormon but that was pretty great! LOL

 
At July 13, 2011 at 10:12 AM , Blogger Utah Mom said...

Love it (hate Jell-o with vegetables in it)! You have a fabulous sense of humor.

 
At July 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM , Anonymous Erin said...

Love this!! I've always been so interested in the Mormon lifestyle! (Big Love may or may not have something to do with that haha!)

 
At July 16, 2011 at 8:06 PM , Blogger Brandi said...

This post had me laughing so hard! We have family who are mormon. I am not, there are some things I just don't understand about it, but I sure wish some of the other faiths had as much craftiness as the mormons do! :)

 
At July 22, 2011 at 7:03 PM , Blogger Jillayne said...

Thank you for this post! I laughed out loud and borrowed it. I changed it up a bit (I don't live in Utah and jello isn't as popular here), but food is...

 
At August 6, 2011 at 11:45 PM , Blogger Melanie said...

He he...us Mormon's to a "T". Except that when I WAS addicted to caffeinated soda...it was Pepsi.

P.S. I make a killer RAINBOW jello dish. If you want the recipe, let me know. HA HA HA!

 

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