My Sweet Old Lady Husband and His Nagging Wife

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I'm trying to be a better wife, really, but sometimes it's just so hard.

My sweet husband and I are not, at all, in any way, driving compatible.  Let me first say, my husband has not been in an accident since he was 14!  But, he is an old lady.  You know, the type that is always driving below the speed limit.  How does that happen?  I try not to say anything, but if there is another car behind us, how can I not?  Someone might retaliate in a fit of road rage.

When he leaves on a turn signal I can usually keep quiet for a bit.  My record is five minutes, then it bursts out of me like a calm explosion "Hey honey, your turn signal may still be on." I smoothly say.

I also feel it my noble duty to rescue all pedestrians in his path.  These observations are especially unappreciated.  I'm not sure why.  Surely, it's possible, I've saved numerous lives.

And finally, my biggest woe, merging.  I am a, do it as soon as you can woman .  My husband is a, wait till the last second man.  I am doing better with my reactions.  I've stopped saying anything.  Now I just put my head between my legs so I don't have to watch.  Ahhhh...relief.

My husband's usual response to it all, "Do you want to drive?"  Surprisingly, I prefer to assist. 

I'm quite aware I need to cease my abhorrent behavior, quickly. I definitely don't want to pass off my nagging car ways to my children.   So, I'm trying a new method--keeping my eyes closed--the whole trip! 

Grumpy Wife Goal of the Day: I will look into buying myself a muzzle. 

(My husband just read this and wants me to note that he still loves me very much, but all driving accusations are based off the skewed perceptions of his beautiful nagging wife.)