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My Sweet Old Lady Husband and His Nagging Wife

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

My Sweet Old Lady Husband and His Nagging Wife

photo credit possibility
I'm trying to be a better wife, really, but sometimes it's just so hard.

My sweet husband and I are not, at all, in any way, driving compatible.  Let me first say, my husband has not been in an accident since he was 14!  But, he is an old lady.  You know, the type that is always driving below the speed limit.  How does that happen?  I try not to say anything, but if there is another car behind us, how can I not?  Someone might retaliate in a fit of road rage.

When he leaves on a turn signal I can usually keep quiet for a bit.  My record is five minutes, then it bursts out of me like a calm explosion "Hey honey, your turn signal may still be on." I smoothly say.

I also feel it my noble duty to rescue all pedestrians in his path.  These observations are especially unappreciated.  I'm not sure why.  Surely, it's possible, I've saved numerous lives.

And finally, my biggest woe, merging.  I am a, do it as soon as you can woman .  My husband is a, wait till the last second man.  I am doing better with my reactions.  I've stopped saying anything.  Now I just put my head between my legs so I don't have to watch.  Ahhhh...relief.

My husband's usual response to it all, "Do you want to drive?"  Surprisingly, I prefer to assist. 

I'm quite aware I need to cease my abhorrent behavior, quickly. I definitely don't want to pass off my nagging car ways to my children.   So, I'm trying a new method--keeping my eyes closed--the whole trip! 

Grumpy Wife Goal of the Day: I will look into buying myself a muzzle. 

(My husband just read this and wants me to note that he still loves me very much, but all driving accusations are based off the skewed perceptions of his beautiful nagging wife.)

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At March 10, 2011 at 7:34 AM , Blogger I Am Not Superwoman said...

OMG, you have to go read my Driving Miss Crazy Part 1 and Deux posts....about my husband and I's driving craziness! So can relate. And about my Babygate post...Yeah, to be a fly on the wall I am sure it was just hilarious and I did laugh after I scraped myself off the ground. It was one of those if I didn't laugh I would cry moments!

At March 10, 2011 at 8:46 AM , Blogger Greta said...

Hilarious! I can relate, too, except while my husband hasn't had an accident, he drives like a crazy person and flips everybody off. Drives me crazy (no pun intended). That, and he gets really tired while he's driving, whether it's super sunny or night time. Usually I end up driving everywhere!

At March 10, 2011 at 9:29 AM , Blogger Kris said...

Goodness - I started closing my eyes too. My husband grew up in Europe, so he drives ka ray zee!! After almost 15 years you'd think I'd be used to it - but nope!

At March 10, 2011 at 10:09 AM , Blogger Grace One Hundred said...

Janae, I laughed out loud... The head between the knees part is so relatable!! Only my husband is in the top 5% of the world's best drivers, and he's so cocky about it that he is always cutting things so close just to prove how awesome he is. I often have to close my eyes and say "I know, I know!! You're amazing!!" His road rage wore off on me a bit too, I used to be so patient, now I find myself stuttering, "T-t-t-t-oday Junior!" (Tasteless Billy Madison reference). *sigh* I'm so glad someone else knows the torture I go through. ;)

At March 10, 2011 at 10:37 AM , Blogger laughwithusblog said...

Love this one! I. Can. Relate. Thankfully my husband is also very patient and forgiving. I'm the granny driver though...I don't think he'd let me drive if I wanted to, except on long trips that is.

At March 10, 2011 at 12:46 PM , Blogger Jenn said...

I am glad you came across my blog too! I went through and read all of your posts and I laughed and I cried and I saw someone who is SO very much like me! I have added you to my blogs I visit list and look forward into finding more insights into myself.

Thank you for the sweet compliments about my daughter, I need the reminder that her independence and determination are actually good qualities ;)

At March 10, 2011 at 1:28 PM , Blogger Kristina said...

I SO can relate! My husband is also one that can have road rage and its drive me nuts! BUT if I'm driving and I was to pull out in front of a car and it scares him a little it's a lecture like no other on how I need to be a better drive! I think I might keep a notebook or video blog via my iPhone and whip it out every time he says I do something wrong while driving. I mean seriously, lets compare! hahah

At March 10, 2011 at 4:48 PM , Blogger The Mills said...

I am SO the same way with my husband's driving! HE drives pretty ok but man sometimes it just kills me! I definitely understand ;)

At March 10, 2011 at 5:07 PM , Blogger Liz said...

What a great post! I have to admit I can be the same way when my hubby drives. I'm always complaining about how slow he is to react to things or why he should have done this or that.
I just have to bite my tongue!

At March 10, 2011 at 6:59 PM , Blogger Johanson Family said...

Oh yeah... this sounds right up our alley as well!! My hubby is the old man driving... I drive EVERYWHERE and I have the worst driving record of the two of us and yet if we want to get anywhere on time, I DRIVE! Its like watching grass grow being in the passenger seat... drives me batty!!

At March 10, 2011 at 8:03 PM , Blogger Rebecca said...

I can totally relate. That is why every time hubby drives us somewhere, I bring a book and keep my head down.

At March 10, 2011 at 8:22 PM , Blogger Tanya (a Taste of T) said...

I just tried to tell my husband today that he has a little road rage...this conversation did not go like I was filled with denial.

<3, New Follower
Come get a dose of laughter at A Taste of T

At March 10, 2011 at 9:44 PM , Blogger Calamity Kate said...

My mom's favorite saying is …" A nagging wife may save your life." LOL

At March 11, 2011 at 4:39 AM , Blogger Russo said...

I really got everything that you send in this post. I kept nodding my head, agreeing with all you said. I loved how you word things so honestly. Great blog.


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